


Of Wedding Rings and Bad Wolves

by Galadhwen23



Category: Doctor Who
Genre: Angst, F/M, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-04-16
Updated: 2014-07-28
Packaged: 2017-12-08 17:25:10
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 9,471
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/764022
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Galadhwen23/pseuds/Galadhwen23
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After the incident on Apalapucia, Amy and Rory make a heartbreaking discovery about their favorite Time Lord. Determined to help, Amy takes a risky gamble - one that could have the happiest ending the Doctor has ever gotten or the worst consequences anyone has ever seen. AU. Set just after "The Girl Who Waited".</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is a fic that has been sitting on my computer for quite a long time, and I just decided to post it today. I plan on updating it as soon as possible, but my plot bunny is as slippery as an eel, and I'm INCREDIBLY busy. Any ideas on what to do to said plot bunny are greatly appreciated. I really appreciate any and all feedback.
> 
> Disclaimer: I definitely do not own Doctor Who

It took a moment for them to realize that yes; someone actually _was_ playing the piano.

Amy and Rory stared at each other with furrowed brows as very faint music drifted up to their little bedroom in the TARDIS. Amy cocked her head as she listened and after a moment, in typical Amy fashion, she grabbed Rory’s hand and pulled him out of bed into the corridor.

It had been a few days since Rory and the Doctor had rescued Amy from Apalapucia. Seeing as all of them were still shaken (though the Doctor tried to hide it) the three had decided to take a rest from traveling and let the TARDIS drift in the Vortex for a week or so to give everyone time to recuperate. Rory had barely let Amy out of his sight, something that didn't bother Amy in the slightest. Overall, it had been a relaxing three days for the couple, but as Amy and Rory had been discussing when they had noticed the music floating almost silently through the room, something was very wrong with the Doctor.

It was obvious to both of them that the stubborn alien was trying to hide it, but Rory had always been fantastic at reading everyone other than Amy, and Amy knew the Doctor too well. Which really wasn't that well at all, judging by the fact that she didn't even know his real name, but she chose to ignore that little loophole. The Doctor had been so quiet it was almost frightening, and not once had Rory or Amy seen even a flicker of a smile. He was withdrawn, and ten times more mysterious than usual, which was saying something. Usually, as the couple had deducted, he seemed to shake off whatever he really felt to plaster on his sometimes fake excited grin, and that was what bothered Amy and Rory the most. The Doctor wasn't even trying to hide his feelings, and it was very worrying. The poor man just seemed so heartbroken.

This, as Amy and Rory silently followed the foreign sound, described perfectly the music that was emanating from the piano neither of them had known the Doctor had. It was haunting, beautiful and yet sad and powerful at the same time. Rory and Amy’s quick darting from hiding place to hiding place slowed, and now they walked slowly in the middle of the hallway, captivated. After what seemed like no time at all, they came to a door. Instead of being silver, this door was a deep, warm red. Amy glanced over to Rory, who had a look of deep concentration on his face as he studied the song that was drifting through the door. After a moment, Rory met her eyes, and leaning in, he whispered softly in her ear. “Let’s just go in and act like we aren't there.”

Amy pondered this idea for a moment before shaking her head, realizing that the song they had been following had come to a close. “Wait,” she whispered back, “He’s just started a new song, and I want to hear it.” Rory nodded before moving to lean against the wall, and Amy followed him. This new piece was slower and sadder than the first. It didn't seem very complex at first, to Amy’s untrained ears, but it was beautiful nonetheless. Soon it sped up, yet stayed smooth and soft, the notes dancing in the air, and Amy wished the Doctor had told them he played; he was obviously very talented. Eventually, the song came to an end, and after Amy gave him the go-ahead, Rory gently opened the door.

The room was large yet cozy, with a thick beige carpet and walls of the same color. Warm orange light spilled from a lamp in the corner of the room and from the fire that was flickering in the large white fireplace. A large sofa colored a deep red was tucked in one corner, in front of a TV mounted on the wall, and the other was occupied by a huge bookshelf that was very nearly overflowing. In any other circumstances, Amy would've stopped to admire her surroundings, but she and Rory were focused elsewhere.

In the center of the room stood a magnificent grand piano, made of wood so dark it was almost black. It shone as the flickering light of the fire cast dancing shadows on it, and seated on the bench in front of it with his back to them was the Doctor. He was dressed as usual, other than his coat, which lay sprawled on the floor next to his bench. Without the usual tweed jacket adorning his skinny form, it was obvious that the Doctor’s shoulders were painfully tense. He did not acknowledge Amy and Rory’s presence, and carefully rifled through the music propped up in front of him before placing a new sheet on top and bringing his hands back to the keys. Taking this a sign that it was alright for them to be there, Amy grabbed Rory’s hand silently advanced to stand off to the side of the piano. 

From this angle they were in full view of the Doctor’s face, and what they saw filled the couple with shock and pity.

The Doctor’s eyes were dull, swollen, and red, and glittering tear tracks marred his usually chipper face. Slowly, another tear trailed its way down his cheek before falling to land with the tiniest splash on the back of his hand. His hair was disheveled and his clothes were crumpled oddly. He still did not acknowledge the presence of his companions, and after pausing to scrub fiercely at the evidence of his pain, he started to play again.

This new piece started out slowly, like the one the Doctor had played before it. Amy and Rory listened silently, fearing that if they made a noise it would shatter the moment the three seemed to be trapped in. Soon, though, the song sped up and slowly the Doctor’s fingers began pressing down the beautiful piano’s keys with more strength. Again, the song was beautiful, and it conveyed more of the sadness that showed so clearly now on the Doctor’s face. The song slowed once more, and Amy dropped her eyes from said alien’s face to his hands. His long, nimble fingers flew effortlessly over the keys, weaving a more complex melody than the previous piece. As Amy listened to the notes that sprung up from the Doctor’s hands, she felt as if his soul was being laid bare for her and Rory to get a once in a lifetime glimpse. 

‘ _No_ ,’ Amy corrected her last thought, ‘ _a once in a million lifetime’s glimpse_.’

And suddenly the song was over. The Doctor’s hands slowly left the keys and lowered to clench the narrow strip of wood beneath them as the tears started to slip down his cheeks once more. He stared at the sheet music blankly for what felt like an eternity to Amy before carefully turning, swinging one leg over the bench to straddle it, one arm hanging limply by his side and one coming to rest on his knee.

“Rory.”

Amy and Rory both flinched as the bubble that had previously encased the room popped. Surprisingly, the Doctor had managed to keep his voice steady, but he spoke so quietly that Amy had to strain her ears to catch what he was saying.

“Yes, Doctor?” Rory answered back in a soothing tone of the same volume, as if he were speaking to a skittish animal. Usually, Amy realized with a flash of amusement, this was the part where she would butt in loudly and demand an explanation, but something compelled her to stay quiet and let the scene unfold.

“Do you remember how you felt, Rory, when you were being forced to choose between the two Amys?”

The Doctor’s voice was a bit louder and a bit more wobbly this time, and Amy and Rory both blinked dumbly a few times. This was not the road they had imagined this conversation would take.

“Yeah… yeah, I do.” Rory’s voice was louder and more wobbly too, and Amy saw him swallow thickly after finishing his response. Seeing the look on his face, she gently wove her fingers through his, and Amy felt him give her hand a squeeze. Amy knew that Rory hadn't quite forgiven the Doctor all the way yet for lying about the paradox that had been created on Apalapucia. The Doctor’s gaze lifted slowly from his lap up to stare into Rory’s eyes.

“Imagine, Rory, imagine that it had been the other way around.”

Surprise and confusion flashed across the couple’s faces. The Doctor let his statement hang in the air for a few moments, and it looked as though he were collecting the strength to say something difficult. Eventually, he started to speak again, and with every word his voice grew louder until he was practically shouting at Amy and Rory.

“Imagine that it took you so, so much longer to find her, Rory, and you were so happy that you thought your heart would burst. You had waited so long, to hear her voice, to see her smile, to feel her hand slide into yours, and you wanted to be with her again so badly that nothing else mattered, but you _couldn't_. Imagine that there were two of _you_ , Rory, and after you finally, _finally_ found her, she had to choose between two of you. And she wanted to be with _you_ , Rory, almost as much as you wanted to be with her, but you couldn't let her. You had to let the other you have her. You wanted her so badly, so, _so_ badly, but the other you could give her more than you ever could. He could give her the few things you couldn't, and those were the things she _really_ needed, the things she deserved.”

Here the Doctor paused, letting his gaze drop and letting out a huge, trembling breath, while Amy and Rory struggled fruitlessly to wipe the shock off of their faces. When he brought his eyes back up, his stare was so hard and so full of pain that Amy decided that it would most definitely not be a good time to try and diffuse the tension with a joke like she had been planning to. His tirade picked up where it had left off, and Amy and Rory could tell that he was speaking to both of them now.

“Think about that. How do you think that would feel? Well? I’ll _tell_ you how it feels. It feels like someone is taking your soul and ripping it from your body, and then burying it in the deepest pit, in the darkest cave, in the _lowest_ chasm of hell, and just when you think you’ll finally go mad from the pain of it all,” here the Doctor paused, and his shouting became snarling, “somehow, you end up being forced back to reality again. And you have to pretend that everything is _fine_ and that it doesn't matter anymore, and that the next time you go to sleep you won’t be torn apart all over again. You have to run away from everything you care about, Amy, Rory, and I am SICK AND TIRED OF RUNNING AWAY!”

The Doctor’s last six words came out as a combination of a shout and a snarl. When silence descended over the room once more, Amy and Rory stood stock still, afraid to move from the positions of cringing they had unconsciously taken up during the Doctor’s rant. Still as statues, they watched as the wild and terrifying rage slowly trickled from his eyes, like the sand trickles to the bottom of an hourglass, only to fill much more quickly with horror, shame, and more tears as they widened.

“I-I-I’m sorry” the Doctor babbled “I meant – I don’t – I don’t know why I did that, I’ll just – uh – I’ll just, ah, go.” He tried to jump up from the bench but lost his balance, because he had tried to reach down and grab his jacket at the same time. The Doctor’s shin banged painfully hard against the leg of the piano bench, and he ignored Amy’s cry to wait as he successfully plucked the jacket from the floor and dashed out of the room.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay. First of all, I'm so sorry for such a long wait. I after posting the first chapter I completely lost all inspiration and did not plan on continuing, but one of my best friends who recently got into DW inspired me to. (Thanks a million, Kyria!). Please don't hate me too much, guys :(.
> 
> Secondly - Thank you very very very much to everyone who read and left feedback! Also, constructive criticism is oxygen to me, I can never get enough.
> 
> Disclaimer: I obviously don't own DW. Just a poster, two shirts, and lots of doodles. LOTS. Of doodles. Like seriously, an obscene amount...

The Doctor shot around yet another corner, nearly stumbling into the TARDIS' smooth metal wall and practically dropping his jacket (running as fast as one could generally tended to compromise things like balance and steering). The corridor ahead of him was blurry and distorted thanks to the traitorous tears that kept insisting upon taking up residence in his eyes, but the Doctor knew his ship well. After taking three more haphazard turns and rocketing through a shortcut that included the kitchen, a bathroom, a garden, and two dusty, unused bedrooms, the Doctor finally arrived at his intended destination.

After exploding through the doorway and slamming the door closed behind him, he sank ungracefully to the floor and stared numbly at the far away wall on the opposite side of his personal library. It was one of the only places he didn't give his companions access to - they could use the TARDIS' other, larger library. This was the one place that the Doctor knew he could always find at least a small amount of peace and solitude.

Usually.

Now that his mind had broken free of its panicked red alert mode, the Doctor felt guilty about leaving poor Amy and Rory hanging like he had. He'd never meant for them to see that side of him, but the Doctor decided with a sigh that he had been bound to explode sooner or later (he would have preferred later, but what could you do?). The incident - incident was much too mild a word but he couldn't think of anything else to call it - on Apalapucia had been so heartbreakingly similar to the traumatizing ordeal that had taken place during his second time visiting Bad Wolf Bay. He'd cracked a little on the inside as older Amy had pressed her hand to the TARDIS' window, and the fracture had been widening ever since.

It had only been a matter of time until it had showed.

Blinking himself forcefully back to the present, the Doctor stood up slowly and carefully straightened his shirt before pulling his jacket back on and running a hand through his hair to smooth the tangled wave. Heaving another sigh, he ambled past two rows of shelves and down the third aisle. At the end of the aisle was a little hallway that led to a small sitting area. The homey little space had only a rather large squishy blue couch and a coffee table made of caramel colored wood. Dropping down onto the couch, the Doctor was spontaneously hit by an overwhelming wave of grief. Stifling a sob, he slid shakily onto his side and curled his legs up to his chest to press his face to his knees.

Instantly he realized that squeezing his eyes shut was a mistake. The steel walls that were his mental shields were behaving more like tin foil lately, and before the Doctor could block it out, the colors pink and yellow exploded to the forefront of his mind. He slammed his shields back into place, but the damage was already done. His mind was turning on itself.

That first horrible hour after he had brought all of them home, after the defeat of Davros, the Doctor had sat with his back to the TARDIS' doors and made rules for himself.

One of the rules had been the decision to never think of his past companions again. Not their names, not their faces. They were to stay locked behind his mental walls, where they wouldn't do as much damage. Damage control seemed to be a specialty of his lately. But to the point - it wasn't working. It was becoming increasingly difficult to refer to all of them as 'her' or 'him' and it was even more difficult not to picture their wonderful faces peering up at him with their sparkling eyes. Clenching his knees even closer to his chest, the Doctor forced down another sob. This was exactly what he deserved.

The thought made him freeze, and sudden self-hatred crashed over him.

Exactly what he deserved? He was the Oncoming Storm, the last of the Time Lords! He had watched his planet burn and heard the dying screams of his people as they'd crumbled into nothing!

Because of him.

Oh, he deserved so much more than what he was enduring now.

And before he could snap himself out of his dangerous thoughts, the Doctor braced himself and flung open his mental shields, letting those wonderful faces spring up behind his tightly clenched eyelids.

His former companions rushed into his thoughts like water rushing through a crack in a dam. Martha's chocolate brown eyes twinkled at him with amusement for a few moments before rippling away to be replaced by the sound Donna's warm and familiar laughter. Soon she too faded away as an image of Jack's suggestively raised eyebrows swirled by, followed by the scent of Jenny's long blonde hair as she flung her petite form at him. Wilfred's shaking wrinkled hand reached out to him for a fleeting second before an image of Astrid's pearly white smile knocked it aside. Just as the Doctor was wondering which smiling face was going to torture him next, the colors pink and yellow once again swirled to the surface.

If he had thought that seeing all of them had been pure and unadulterated agony, it was nothing compared to seeing -

Rose.

Her name exploded in his mind with the force of a thousand suns. It tore through the metaphorical tin foil that his mental sheild had become, turning it into glass and flinging the shards in every direction, causing the razor sharp pieces to embed themselves in his brain. The phantom shards burrowed viscously down into his thoughts, but all of a sudden they vanished and the Doctor sat up slowly, his now wide eyes filling with tears as he stared in awe at the scene before him.

His Rose. His beautiful Rose. The name sent another agonizing spasm through his hearts, but the image hanging in the air in front of him pushed the pain to a second row seat in his mind.

A vision of her golden brown eyes hovered before him and melted his tortured hearts. Soon her shimmering brown orbs were followed by her wide smile, her adorable little nose, that soft, soft hair, and eventually her entire body. She wore the outfit she'd worn when they'd gone to the Olympics, her pale and elegant hand stretched towards him.

"Doctor."

Her voice was the voice of an angel.

It was his own personal siren call, and even though the Doctor knew somewhere in the back if his mind that he was hallucinating, he didn't care in the slightest.

He stood and shakily reached out towards his beaming angel, and just as fingers were about to brush against hers, his imaginary Rose crumbled in on herself. Her mouth and eyes stretched wide in a silent scream as her satiny skin shriveled and disintegrated. The Doctor stumbled forward with a choked cry, but his sudden movement caused him to snap out of his hallucination and Rose vanished entirely, leaving the Doctor staring frozen at the wall with his fingers stretched out into the empty air.

Rose.

He felt like screaming, and his control was so far gone that he did.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

It was high, piercing, and it made his eardrums shriek in protest. It sounded like the scream of a dying man, and the Doctor decided that right now he wished it were. Dying would take away this unendurable pain. This was hell. To be honest, he probably had a fifty fifty chance of ending up in hell anyway. Sinking to his knees, the Doctor curled in on himself and ended up with his forehead pressed to the thick white carpet. Tears slipped down his contorted face as he wrapped his arms around his chest.

That was how Amy and Rory found him.

He only realized that they were there when a pair of slender yet strong arms wrapped around him from the side, and a wave a soft ginger hair fell over his back to tickle his ear. Alarm bells went off in his head and the Doctor's sobs immediately died in his throat as Amy silently held his now frozen form. She waited for a few moments, but when the Doctor stayed stiff and silent, Amy took matters into her own hands. Unwrapping her arms from around him, she crawled around to kneel in front of him and gently pushed his shoulders up so that they sat facing each other.

DWDWDWDW

After the Doctor had made his dramatic exit, she and Rory had decided to leave him to himself, but all of their previous hesitations had been violently flung out of a window when they'd heard an agonized cry coming from far within the ship. They had been worriedly discussing the previous drama of the night when they'd heard it, and they had taken of running without a second thought.

If Amy had thought that the look on the Doctor's face had been heartbreaking before, it was twenty times more so now. Tear tracks still glittered on his face, and his eyes remained red and puffy, but now he looked lost. No - he looked as if he HAD lost, had lost the most valuable position in the entire universe. Amy would have bet the TARDIS that he had, in a way. When she had pushed him up to look at her, the Doctor had only met her eyes for a second before dropping them down to stare at her knees, ignoring the hands that still rested on his shoulders. Amy waited a few more seconds, but when the Doctor showed no intention of moving, Amy decided to take matters into her own hands.

Taking his hands from where they lay limply on his knees, Amy stood slowly and the Doctor automatically followed, his eyes glued to the carpet as if it were the most interesting thing in the world. Locking eyes with Rory for a moment, he caught the look on her face and nodded before shooting a sympathetic look at the Doctor and turning quietly to slip out through the door. Amy pulled him over to the couch and sank gently onto it, tugging gently on the Doctor's hands to coax him to fall rather shakily onto the couch beside her. After a moment of awkward silence, Amy pulled the Doctor's head down to her shoulder. To her surprise, he stilled for a moment before shutting his eyes and burrowing into her neck, and Amy's heart twisted violently in sympathy mixed with no small amount of worry. The Doctor was acting like a completely different person, and it was scaring her. He was so vulnerable - so defeated. No longer was he the energetic and cocky Doctor who had whisked her away the night before her wedding. He was a broken man.

"I'm sorry."

Amy flinched as her voice, even though it was softer than usual, rang through the room and shattered the semi-tranquility that had begun to encase them.

That was why she was surprised when he started to speak. His voice was hoarse and a multitude of cracks punctuated his nearly silent sentence, but he was speaking nonetheless.

"Her name... her name was... her name was Rose."

The Doctor choked when he said her name, and he fell silent.

Amy tightened her arms around him, apologizing again. The Doctor flitted his eyes up to her for a moment before looking away again to speak.

"Amy... why do you keep apologizing? It wasn't your fault."

"Because you're my best friend and you're hurting."

This simple answer made the Doctor still again. Amy watched as he dithered for a moment before opening his mouth and beginning to speak.

And he told her everything.

He told her about Henrick's and the end of the world and about the Gelf. About New Earth and Queen Victoria and about Torchwood.

The Doctor started crying when he told her about the word run. Amy started crying when he finished telling her about Bad Wolf.

The Doctor gave her a brief description of his time with his companions after Rose, who were named Donna and Martha. She learned that Martha had been studying to be a doctor herself and that Donna had been his best mate, for a while. Amy, who had managed to stop crying, started again when he choked out the events of the time the Earth had been stolen.

"I... I never saw her again, after the second time on Bad Wolf Bay. She has a good life, though, living in Pete's world." The Doctor told Amy, his mouth twisting into a bitter smile that contradicted his words. It didn't escape Amy's notice, and she squeezed his hand in understanding.

"You could go back for her" Amy said after a few minutes of silence. "You could tell her what you were going to say when the two of you were in Bad Wolf bay the first time."

The Doctor shook his head in defeated denial.

"The walls between the universes have closed, and Rose has a happy life with the Metacrisis. She... she doesn't need me anymore, and I will never see her again."

The Doctor's voice had started to rise dangerously, but he caught himself quickly this time. Shaking his head, Amy watched as he gently extracted himself from her grip and fled from her once more, a hasty excuse about fixing the TARDIS offered in his wake. Amy sighed and stretched, beginning to rise from the couch to return to Rory, but when she glanced down and noticed something that had fallen from the Doctor's pocket onto the couch she froze in her tracks.

Amy bent reached down and snagged the small velvet box as if it were a grenade. Opening it reverently, she gasped, a fist coming up to cover her mouth.

Inside the box lay the most beautiful ring she had ever seen. At first glance it looked as though it were a simple silver band with a single large diamond set in the middle, but when she focused on it, Amy realized that the gem was much more than that. The diamond seemed to change colors, shifting almost imperceptibly from one to the next in a hypnotizing display. As she watched, transfixed, Amy noticed a few colors she had never seen before - colors she had no name for. She gazed in wonder for a moment longer before a folded piece of paper tucked into the lid of the box caught her eye. Unfolding it, she read the little note that had been scrawled there with an obviously shaky hand.

_'For the memory of my beautiful Rose. The shiver to my shake, the Mutt to my Jeff, the hope to my glory. I'm so sorry that I never got to tell you how much I loved you.'_

Any held the note in her shaking hands for a moment before looking up to stare blindly at the wall, a fire burning in her eyes that was as bright as her fiery hair.

Whatever or whoever had torn this Rose away from her best friend had better start running.

Because she was Amy Pond, and she had a plan.

And there would be hell to pay.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... I guess I really have nothing to say for myself aha. To be honest, I'd abandoned this fic a while ago, but I'm back now. Not quite sure what changed my mind, but I'm happy something did!   
> Remember, feedback is life. Please give me life.

Amy thought over the first part of her decidedly uncertain plan the next day. It would be difficult to find anything out without the Doctor noticing, but she was determined. After they had parted ways the night before Amy had gone to bed, and when she had first seen the Doctor this morning, he had once again reverted back to putting on his Time Lord mask and being the rambling lighthearted Doctor that Amy had thought she knew.

Thought was the operative word in her previous musing, unfortunately.

Now, as she watched him and Rory banter playfully around the console, Amy realized that she didn't really know her Raggedy Doctor at all. He was 900 years old, after all, but she had never really thought about what the Doctor's life had been like before she had come along. Sure, she'd known that he'd had previous companions, that was a given – but who were they, really? What were they like? What had been their relationship with the Doctor? What had they even looked like? As Amy's thoughts drifted back to the Doctor's sorrowful tale from last night, she realized that she didn't even know what the mysterious Rose looked like – just that she was blond and pretty.

All of the questions that her overtired brain was peppering her with could only be answered by one person – the Doctor.

And therein lay the problem.

Last night, Amy had decided that if the Doctor found out about her little  _investigations_ , he would, without a doubt, go to great lengths to deter her. He would probably succeed, which was the problem. It was vitally important that he didn't find out, and Amy had decided that it would be easier to keep Rory in the dark too. Nodding at something the Doctor had just said – rambled – Amy kept herself from letting a pout show on her face as she failed to come up with a way to get the TARDIS to herself. Watching Rory and the Doctor half-playfully argue, hunched over something on the console, Amy flailed wildly as she struggled to come up with an excuse that would make her boys leave.

"Ladies and gentleman, I give you Tatooine!"

Amy was startled out of her increasingly frustrating thoughts as the Doctor's voice spun bye next to her head, the – deceptively – cheerful alien giving a twirl with wide arms as he flew to the doors and flung the open to reveal a shimmering expanse of sand.

"Oh come  _on_ , Doctor. Tatooine is a planet from Star Wars." Rory cut in with a snort, raising his eyebrows. "What, Star Wars is real and Luke Skywalker is out saving the universe from the evil Sith?"

"Oi,  _Rory_ , saving the universe is my thing! And, just for the record, George Lucas might not be who you think he is." The Doctor called over his shoulder as he breezed out of the doors. Rory stared after him, and Amy stifled a laugh as she watched her husband struggle not to let his mouth hang open.

"He's not joking is he… he really isn't joking!" Rory said after a moment, starting quickly for the doors. Then, a metaphorical light bulb going off in her head, Amy saw her chance. Forcing a rather moody expression onto her face, she slumped against the rail she was leaning against as Rory turned to ask her if she was coming.

"Go with the Doctor, I'm staying here." Seeing him open his mouth to protest, Amy grabbed a railing and hauled herself to her feet, leaning on it as if she were tired and flapping a hand at Rory lazily.

"Oh, go on, Rory. I don't want to wander around this dusty sauna for hours just to end up running for our lives from the first high ranking alien the Doctor manages to insult. I'm going to watch Titanic," Amy paused for a moment, letting the fact that she was watching one of Rory's least favorite movies sink in, "and I have a funny feeling that you'd rather go with the Doctor."

Rory was out of the door in a flash, with a 'goodbye' and an 'I love you' thrown hastily over his shoulder.

Amy let her triumphant grin blossom on her face as the TARDIS door clicked shut. Lightly pushing off of her perch, she sauntered victoriously over to the console and leaned over the multitude of buttons, impatiently pushing her long and fiery hair back over her shoulder. There had to be some sort of rhyme or reason to these controls – she just needed to find it.

_Four hours later_

Amy sank ungracefully to the floor to lay spread eagle on the glad, letting out a groan of anger and frustration. Four hours. For four hours she had scoured and prodded each and every button and lever she could find in the now seemingly massive control room, and yet she'd found absolutely nothing even remotely helpful. Amy felt like shaking her best friend until his teeth rattled for throwing the manual away. She was getting nowhere.

Sitting up with a plaintive sigh, Amy habitually smoothed back her hair. After a moment she stood and wandered down the stairs, plopping herself into the swing under the console and shoving her hands in her pockets.

That was when she remembered that she still had the ring.

After finding the ring last night, Amy had meant to return it, but something had stopped her. She'd been on her way to the console room when a little nag in in the back of her head had made her pause. She had dithered for a moment, at war with herself, but after a moment she'd turned and gone back down the hallway, the ring box clutched gently in her hand.

Now, as she turned the ring over in her hand, she felt the nagging return and take up position in the back of her head. She'd been so tired last night that she hadn't even really bothered to question or examine it, but now she sat up carefully and shut her eyes to concentrate. After a few moments, it seemed as though someone – or something – was whispering in a soft voice. Amy's eyebrows furrowed as she struggled to decipher the words, but all of a sudden they appeared in her mind as though they had been there the entire time.

_Come, my cub, and discover yourself. Discover yourself, and you will discover me. Discover me. Discover me._

Amy could almost hear the words being spoken in her mind, as if by a gentle and loving voice that had an undercurrent of power. For some reason she did not understand, a sense of familiarity and safety wrapped Amy in the ghost of a cocoon, and for a fleeting millisecond a flash of the most brilliant golden light trickled through her mind before disappearing as quickly as it had come. It did, however, leave behind of a feeling of happiness that also gave off a sense of underlying worry and urgency. Eventually the strange feeling faded away, and Amy slowly opened her eyes.

Only to find herself walking slowly and smoothly from the swing and up the stairs, towards the console.

Panic shot through Amy with a burst of adrenaline, but when she tried to jerk back, her body gave no response and continued its ascension. Her fear heightening with every passing second, Amy thrashed in vain. No matter what she did, nothing that Amy tried made her body give a reaction. It was as if she were paralyzed – only she was still moving. Fear turning to terror as her body's pace quickened, Amy tried to open her mouth to scream. Her mouth didn't move and no sound came out. At long last, she reached the console, and Amy watched in silent horror as her hand reached out – and flicked a switch.

Panic turned to confusion.

What was she doing? Some of Amy's fear began to trickle away and be replaced with bewilderment. She had absolutely no idea how to fly the TARDIS, but evidently, whatever was controlling her did. Forcing down the fear that was bubbling in the pit of her stomach, Amy forced herself to keep a clear head. She watched in growing confusion as her hands began moving faster, slamming down buttons and dancing across levers, her body twirling expertly around the console. And then all of a sudden, the sinuous movements came to an abrupt halt as an ominous detaching sound rang through the room and part of the console lifted up.

And Amy forgot everything.

The console had lifted to reveal a pool of swirling molten silver, a light so beautiful and pure that it nearly brought tears to her eyes. It frolicked and played in its void, roiling and frothing. As if it were sentient, and suddenly realized it was free, tendrils of blinding light reached out into the open air like slim arms, testing, feeling. The silver encompassed Amy's entire vision and filled her soul with unimaginable wonder, showing her the entirety of the cosmos and everything beyond. As she watched the universe begin and end in the same moment, a sudden clarity trickled over her. Everything was so clear now – so  _obvious_. So  _simple_. Everything was beginning and ending and beginning again, all at the same time – empires rose and fell in the span of a heartbeat, only to rise up again. Amy saw everything that ever was and everything that would be and everything that might be and everything that could not ever be. It was the way of the universe, and it was wonderful beyond words. But then all of a sudden, the silver light that she had been gazing into to see the universe exploded outwards, dousing her in its brilliance and seemingly lighting the world on fire.

And then it was gone.

Darkness. That was the first thing Amy was aware of as she slowly ebbed back into consciousness.

Consciousness – she was aware of herself. That was good. Amy didn't know why it was suddenly a possibility that she might not…  _Be_ , but it was. And she  _Was_. That was good.

Amy slowly fluttered open her eyes – she had eyes, which meant she a body. This was also good. She still didn't know why there was a question in her mind that she wouldn't.

She seemed to be standing - no. There did not seem to be anything beneath her feet. Blinking past the brightness that assaulted her sense, Amy peered out into the empty void before her. It was shockingly white, and it seemed to press in on her from all sides yet stretch on forever. Looking down at herself, Amy saw that she was now wearing a simple golden dress. It was a bit long on her, though, and the bottom pooled at her feet.

So she  _was_  standing. Amy took a step forward.

Nothing happened.

Her thoughts where so… choppy. So disjointed. There was a distinct wrongness about this place. Amy shivered even though she wasn't cold, crossing her pale arms tightly across her chest. It was obvious that she was not supposed to be here.

Just as Amy was in the middle of wondering if she were alone here in the emptiness, she suddenly became of aware of a presence surrounding her. As if it had been here the entire time. The presence grew stronger, but no noticeable change affected the whiteness.

Until she blinked.

All of a sudden a towering mass of golden brilliance swirled in front of her, pulsing and swirling. It looked exactly like the light Amy had seen in the TARDIS, with the color being the seemingly only difference. It was, clearly, the presence she had been feeling moments ago, and Amy stumbled back warily, squinting up at the column of gold. As she watched, her suspicion and fear heightening, the column shrunk, compressing itself down until it was about Amy's height. Then, to her astonishment, it rippled violently and shifted, taking on the vague outline of a human.

The swirling stopped abruptly, then, and the outline sharpened. The brilliance of the light dimmed greatly, and a softly glowing, golden, human shaped mass stood in front of a highly wary Amy. Taking a very cautious step forward, Amy let her eyes roam over the… thing. From what she could tell it was a woman – though there were no features or markings of any kind, it looked as though the creature had a sheet of hair that fell to its shoulders. Amy took another step forward and, steeling herself, opened her mouth to speak.

"Who are you, and why am I here?"

Her loud and accusing voice pierced the suffocating silence, and Amy was surprised at how different the voice that answered her was. It was soft and gentle, but it had a faint double timbre that spoke of immeasurable power.

" ** _You know me in your heart, Amelia Pond. Look deep. Look deep into the universe's secrets, the ones that I have shown you_**."

Amy briefly considered telling whatever this thing was to stop speaking in riddles, but she quickly decided against it. After hesitating for a moment, Amy closed her eyes and tried to remember. Nothing came to her. Scrunching her eyebrows together, Amy focused all of her strength on remembering, but all she dredged up was a feeling that something was hidden, that there was a barrier in her mind. Then, all of a sudden, two words appeared in her head with a sudden burst of remembrance –

BAD WOLF.

Amy's eyes shot open.

"Bad Wolf. You're Bad Wolf. Oh my God you're the Bad Wolf. But that means that you're… Rose? Are you Rose?"

Amy took a few steps back, but the being copied her movements and stepped forward in time with Amy's retreat.

" ** _Yes, Amelia Pond. I am the Bad Wolf, but I am not the Doctor's Rose. One day we will become one again, Rose Tyler and I, but not today_**."

"Okay… okay. But… why can't I remember? You told me I would know you from the things you showed me, but I can't remember them. It's weird, it's like… I know that you showed me those things, but I can't actually remember what they were. And yet… I do remember, because all of a sudden the words 'Bad Wolf' just sort of popped into my head…"

Amy trailed off confusedly, and though there was no change in the Bad Wolf's glowing form, Amy got the distinct feeling that she was smiling.

" ** _I showed you myself, Amelia Pond. When Rose Tyler absorbed the Time Vortex all of those years ago, I was created. I am, to put it in a way that you can comprehend, a sentient piece of the Time Vortex. The Doctor has told you what happened to dear Rose when she had the Time Vortex inside her head; she began to burn. I have locked the things I have shown you behind a door in your mind, and that door will open to release certain memories when you have need of them on your journey. I could not risk the life of my Cub by letting the secrets of the universe burn their way through you mind – I must keep you safe_**." Bad Wolf stepped forward and Amy stood stock still as the being brushed a shining hand across her cheek. The place that her shimmering fingers touched her face grew warm and tingly for a few moments before fading away. The gesture seemed... affectionate, and Amy forced herself not to take another wary step back.

"What - what do you mean by Cub?" Amy asked skeptically. She felt the Bad Wolf smile again before answering.

" ** _I am the Bad Wolf and you are my Cub, Amelia Pond. I was the one who made you withhold the ring from our Doctor last night, and the one who used your body to open the heart of the TARDIS. I needed to show you a bit of my essence so that you would be capable of completing your task - if you so choose - and you will need that ring very soon though I cannot tell you why just yet. When you looked into the TARDIS you looked into me, and you became my Cub. You are part of me_**." Bad Wolf let her words hang in the air, waiting patiently for Amy to respond.

"I don't really have a choice of whether to believe you or not, do I?"

" ** _Do you wish to renounce me, Amelia Pond? I cannot and will not stop you if you feel that you must decline_**."

"I don't... I don't know. But the way you've been talking - you're sending me on some sort of mission, aren't you? Something to do with Rose Tyler?"

" ** _You always were a perceptive one, my Cub. Yes; if you give your consent, I will send you on a journey to find the Doctor's Rose_**."

Amy did not answer right away, pausing to take a deep breath and clear her head. If she agreed, she would have a chance to find this Rose Tyler and, it sounded like, reunite her with the Doctor. The Doctor's tear streaked and heartbroken face floated up to the front of Amy's mind.

How could she say no?

Squaring her shoulders and taking another deep breath, Amy cleared her throat.

"We'll let's get this show on the road."

Amy got the distinct impression that Bad Wolf was smiling again, this time even wider.

" ** _I was correct in my assumption that you would comply. Your bravery is not exaggerated, my Cub_**."

At this, Amy felt a faint blush rise in her cheeks.

"What do I have to do?"

"T ** _here are many things that you must do, but the first step of this journey is clear - you must find Rose Tyler. It will not be easy, though, and you will face many a risk along the way. I will send you to Pete's world. You must find Rose and make her trust you enough to pull her back to this world, but you cannot let her know who you are or where you are from. She must make the decision herself to come through the portal I will create, and it must be without her knowing where she is going_**."

Amy scowled at this.

"Why can't I just tell her? It would be so much easier..."

The Bad Wolf gave a sigh, bowing her golden head.

" ** _She does not remember_**."

Amy froze.

" ** _Rose and the Metacrisis had only lived in Pete's world for a few months together before things started to go wrong. Rose had her version of the Doctor, but she was still in love with the original. The Metacrisis saw this, and it pushed him over the edge. He had been becoming more and more unstable ever since his creation - his Time Lord mind wasn't compatible with his human body. When he saw that Rose still looked at him as just a copy, he snapped. He erased her memories, but it put too much of a strain on the fragile connection between his body and mind. He died almost instantly, but he still managed to lock the memories away. The catch, though, is that he locked them away with the sliver of Bad Wolf, and the memories are now entwined with that sliver. If Rose remembers, it will reawaken the part of me that is in her too soon, and she will die_**."

Amy listened with growing pity. The universe seemed to harbor a personal grudge against poor Rose.

"Alright, I think I understand. Sort of." Amy replied slowly after a few moments, and Bad Wolf dipped her head in acknowledgement before starting to speak again.

" ** _Universe jumping is not to be taken lightly, and even I cannot send you through without ripping a hole in the walls between the two worlds._**

**_You will have one shot and one shot only to find her, because I will only be able to send you through once and only for three weeks at most. If I leave you there for any longer I will not be able to pull you back through the same hole I sent you through, and you will be trapped there along with Rose_**." The Bad Wolf paused here, and it seemed to Amy as if she were steeling herself to say something difficult.

" ** _This is... the best case scenario. There is a small chance that sending you through at all will destroy the wall between our universes and create a domino effect, destroying many other walls in the process. This would be catastrophic - the affected universes would collapse entirely. The chance that this will happen is very slight, but it will increase alarmingly when I will try to pull you, and hopefully Rose, back through. You must decide now whether or not you are willing to take this risk_**."

"Now?"

" ** _Yes. The Doctor and your Rory are fast approaching the TARDIS, and I must guide you in the setting up of a one way dimension cannon while the TARDIS is stationary. There is not much time, my Cub. Decide_**."

Amy stared blindly at the Bad Wolf, decisions warring for supremacy in her head. The risks were high. We're they too high? Amy started to open her mouth to back out of the mission-

But then an image of the Doctor burying his tear-streaked face in her shoulder popped into her head, along with a growing anger and fierce protectiveness. The Doctor had been lonely, so lonely for so long, and Amy knew that he would forever be lonely until he was reunited with his precious Rose Tyler. He would never be happy until they were together again.

Wasn't the Doctor one of the most happiness deserving beings in the universe?

The fire sprang up in her eyes again.

"I'd risk practically anything for that man, Bad Wolf, and don't you ever think otherwise." Amy declared passionately, and the Bad Wolf took both of Amy's hands in hers, sending wonderfully warm tingles up Amy's arms.

" ** _So would I, Cub. So would I_**."

Any gave a determined smile, gripping the Bad Wolf's hands back just as tightly.

"How do I get to Pete's world?" Amy asked, and the Bad Wolf gave a tinkling laugh.

" ** _How about I show you_**?"

The Bad Wolf lifted her open palms in front of Amy's face, and all of a sudden the silver light reappeared, shooting out of her hands and straight into Amy. It rushed through her blood to gather into a swirling mass in her soul, filling her with is giddiness and joy as she saw the universe again. Amy knew that it would not last but she didn't care, flinging her arms out to the sides and twirling gracefully in a circle that made her golden dress float around her and flash like fire. Amy tipped her head back and let out a laugh of wonderment, and she felt the silver light within her rise up to shine out from her eyes. She would have been content to revel in the majesty of the Bad Wolf's Cub forever, but a gentle touch on her shoulder brought her back to the present. The Bad Wolf was smiling again, Amy knew.

" ** _Go now, Amelia Pond, and create the dimension cannon. You know how, for the moment, but soon the barrier in your mind will reactivate and lock away the information. Use your time wisely, my Cub_**." The Bad Wolf told her gently. Amy suddenly felt an enormous rush of affection for her. She was a part of the Bad Wolf and the Bad Wolf was a part of her. Stepping forward, Amy wrapped her arms around the Bad Wolf and hugged her tightly for a moment before letting go and taking her hands.

"Thank you, Bad Wolf. I can't thank you enough." Amy said with a smile, the silver in her eyes glowing even brighter.

" ** _Do not thank me yet, Cub. Thank me when you come back, because I will make absolutely sure that you will_**."

"I know, Bad Wolf. I know."

The Bad Wolf smiled again before placing her hands on either side of Amy's head, and all of sudden the Bad Wolf's golden light engulfed her vision, swirling around her in a miniature tornado. It dissipated as quickly as it had come, and Amy found herself standing back in the TARDIS in front of the console. Amy smiled and gave another laugh, silver mist slithering from her smiling mouth. Everything was exactly as she left it – except that this time she had a piece of the Bad Wolf inside of her head, showing her the universe and what she had to do.

Amy's hands pressed down buttons and danced across levers for the second time, only this time she was in full and complete control of her once again expertly twirling body. She flicked down one last lever with an unnecessary flourish, and a field of crackling energy surrounded her –

Just as the TARDIS doors creaked open and the Doctor and Rory froze in their tracks.

DWDWDWDW

No.

No, no, no.

The Doctor stared in shock and horror at Amy as she turned to face them, a peaceful smile on her face and a brilliant silver light pouring from her eyes. When she spoke, her voice carried a hauntingly familiar double timbre.

" ** _I am the Cub, Doctor. I am the daughter of the Bad Wolf. She is part of me, and I part of her_**." Amy told him. The Doctor felt his two hearts fill with wild panic and fear, and he stumbled up towards Amy with a confused and fearful Rory on his heels. He reached out towards Amy only to be met with some sort of barrier, and it did not yield even when he threw his all of his weight against it. Placing his hands flat against the invisible wall, the Doctor tried to still the shaking in his voice.

"You've got to stop this, Amelia, you've got to let it go, it'll kill you if you don't!" The Doctor pleaded wildly, pressing himself up against the force field. Amy turned to him with a smile, her fiery hair flaring out gently from her face as if pushed by the blinding silver that shone from her eyes.

" ** _No, Doctor. It won't. I don't have time to explain why, or how, but you must trust me. The Bad Wolf has returned, and you know what that means._** " Here Amy paused, letting her gaze bore into the Doctor's. He gulped and nodded shakily in understanding, and Amy was silent for a moment more before speaking again.

" ** _I am going to Pete's world, Doctor. It does not take a genius to figure out why._** "

The Doctor's hearts clenched with eve more terror. Five seconds ago he would not have thought that possible.

"Amy,  _Amy,_  you will  _rip_  a  _hole_  in the universe? Do you have any idea of how much chaos and destruction that could cause? How much death?" the Doctor exclaimed, determined to make her see reason. Amy, who had turned back to the TARDIS console, whirled back to stare him down.

" ** _Don't you think I know that, Doctor? I am perfectly aware of the risks. I am prepared to take them._** " Amy snapped. The Doctor felt tears pool in his eyes. Rory, who had been silent until now, piped up suddenly.

"Amy, what are you doing? What is going on?" Rory demanded, reaching out to press a hand against the barrier next to the Doctor's.

" ** _The Doctor will explain, Rory. He has no doubt figured it out by now._** " Amy told him. The Doctor opened his mouth, intending to protest vehemently again, but Amy held a finger to her lips. " ** _I love you, Rory. I will return. You both will see. Do not be afraid for me – the Bad Wolf is my guide._** "

The Doctor watched helplessly as Amy gave them one more glowing smile before whirling around to slam her hand down upon a button on the console. The crackling barrier between them began to spin, whirling faster and faster and generating a mighty roar that filled the TARDIS and made the Doctor's ears ring. All of a sudden, the light that had previously shone only from Amy's face exploded out around her, pouring over her and coating her body in molten silver. The crackling energy spun faster still as Amy tipped back her head and threw her arms out to her sides. The silvery light exploded outwards once more, filling the force field and obscuring Amy from view, and warning bells screamed in the Doctor's mind.

The Doctor sank to his knees, his hands sliding down the barrier as he pushed against it in vain.

"Amy, no!"

A streak of what looked like blue lightning shot through the swirling mass of electric silver, and it vanished abruptly with what sounded like a sonic boom.

"…Amy?"

A strand of hair the color of fire lay on the glass where Amy had stood moments before.

 


End file.
